04.13.08

Day 4: Eulogy for a Goat

Posted in africa 2008, food, personal, photos, travel at 11:01 pm by wingerz

Day 4, March 18, Campsite

africaday4garybefore.jpg
gary: before

When we first saw you we asked, “Who does that pet goat belong to?” Then we realized we were going to eat you. Some of us were distraught. Jen tried to garner support for your freedom. Saadiq wanted to name you to make the omnivores feel guilty, so we named you Gary. The first night, you were quite terrified as you tried to sleep in the back of a truck because the hyenas were harassing you. This morning you probably knew something was wrong because you started bleating at 6am and continued for most of the morning, waking us all up. To be completely honest you were pretty annoying.

africaday4garyafter.jpg
gary: after

Two of the Maasai suffocated you so that your blood would not attract wild animals to the camp. They ate your kidneys raw and roasted your meat over the campfire for several hours. You were delicious. Jen refused to let you die in vain, so she ate three of your ribs for dinner and more of you for lunch the following day.

6 Comments »

  1. Jen said,

    April 13, 2008 at 11:02 pm

    gary = tasty.

  2. Lee said,

    April 14, 2008 at 2:30 am

    That’s the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read in my entire life.

    No foolin’.

    Lee

  3. Samarth Pal said,

    April 14, 2008 at 11:19 am

    Man – this post is so spot on accurate that it cracked me up reading it.

  4. joy said,

    April 15, 2008 at 10:14 pm

    awesome post :) of course, you’re used to this kind of thing since you lived in dunster!

  5. wingerz said,

    April 18, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    I told Jen before I posted this that it would be my best blog post ever. Glad that everyone enjoyed it!

  6. Dan Stowell said,

    April 28, 2008 at 10:57 am

    You’re channeling Fake Steve: “To be completely honest you were pretty annoying.”

    You posted this after I unplugged from the tubes for nearly two weeks. It’s in the lead for best post missed.

    R.I.P. Gary.

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